dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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