she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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