So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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