Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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