Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
