There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
