oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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