I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize