Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Rumble strips road head = magical
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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