So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
