Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
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just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize