I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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