Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
