my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
