yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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