The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
