Dual....:-)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
