ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
