So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I know her cup size but not her name....
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
