Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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