How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She told me I should be a condom model.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
