Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
