your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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