i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
