I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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