I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
