He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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