dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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