it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
