Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
