is your mom at the bar?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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