his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
