she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
