They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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