There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize