I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
