remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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