Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
