ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
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It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.