remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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