piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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