It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize