dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
