I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
