If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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