ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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