STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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