That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
