he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is it because I queefed?
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
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The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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