you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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