he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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