i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
