Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
what day is it and did you see me today?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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