someone get that fucking seahorse.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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