Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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