I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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