bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
