Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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