he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
